Why the pandemic stopped me publishing my 'how to be happy' posts.
I can’t stand reading blog posts that begin with an apology for not posting for a lengthy period.
So this post doesn’t begin with an apology.
Rather, I’ll take a moment to acknowledge that I haven’t posted for a lengthy period.
And then tell you the reason why.
At the end of 2019, I planned an ambitious blog schedule for 2020. I wrote 45 posts under the topic ‘How To Be Happy’ with the idea to publish one a week in 2020. My hope was to create a useful resource for young people (or anyone really) who wanted to put into place life habits that helped with happiness. Every one of the 45 tips were things that I myself have found to be true and helpful in my own life over the years. I thought they might be of some help to others.
And then came 2020.
You can guess what I’m going to say. 2020 was a hard year.
To be fair, some of the hard things happened at the end of 2019. Our family made a big move out of our tiny town into the city, complete with new jobs, new social circles, and three new schools for kids. Moving is stressful, and I was stressed. It’s a tough job to turn up completely new and figure out relationships while at the same time having your kids also turn up completely new and figure out relationships.
At the exact same time, the New South Wales bushfires hit. Our little town (or, ex-town, now that we had moved) was affected by fire; a great swathe of the western side was burned, and houses lost. It made me feel helpless and worried for the community.
Thankfully the rain came and the fires died, and recovery seemed to be on its way but we all know what happened then: Covid-19. Lockdown got under way in New South Wales with all of its inconveniences, toilet paper shortages and concerns. And I think that was when I stopped posting the How To Be Happy posts.
In the face of a global pandemic, a failing economy and high levels of personal stress, I felt like the advice I was giving was trite and silly.
‘Get exercise,’ I wrote, but half the world couldn’t leave their houses for more than an hour a day.
‘Wear your nice undies,’ I wrote, but I hardly believed it myself. So I left the series, not even a quarter of the way through. Besides, it seemed like too much hard work to post every week, when I had other projects to do, whilst home schooling kids and keeping on top of toilet paper supply.
The months have gone on. In Australia, thankfully, and due to pretty good management, the Covid ‘emergency’ days are now behind us (although we have had two subsequent outbreaks, one in Victoria, and one in South Australia.) All in all, we’re adapting to the new normal.
Mostly I’m okay, but being honest, I’ve been up and down in my moods. At the worst times, I’ve sometimes thought back to the ‘How To Be Happy’ series and thought, ‘Well, I couldn’t possibly publish those any more. I feel embarrassed. Who am I to think I could advise anyone when I’m so miserable sometimes?’
Until last week.
Hormones had struck. I was low and feeling sorry for myself, and desperate for something to break the cycle. (Chocolate wasn’t doing it, oddly enough…)
‘What advice would I give myself?’ I asked, as I lay forlornly on my bed. ‘What would I tell my friends or my kids, if they felt like I feel right now?’
Go get some exercise. The words popped into my head, so that evening, I went out for a walk with my sons and the dog. In the cool evening air, I suddenly felt the need to run. ‘Keep walking, guys,’ I told them. ‘I’m going to do a lap of the park.’ (My dog was highly confused when I left the dog park and started running around the outside, but I didn’t worry too much about her.) It wasn’t a particularly quick run, but I kept it up all the way around. When I got home, I was sweaty and tired, but… I felt remarkably better.
The next day I went for another short, slow run. Again, it helped my mood.
‘I was right,’ I thought to myself. ‘Exercise does help.’
And then I got into the back of my blog, where I’d parked all the articles, had a look at them, and realised, hey, these are actually okay.
Yes, my advice for happiness could be seen as trite or silly. After all, will getting exercise make a pandemic go away? Of course not. But being grateful for small things helps a lot when everything big around you is falling apart. And not carrying responsibility for extra things means we have more strength to carry the responsibilities we do have.
So I’m going to finish publishing the How To Be Happy series because there’s some good stuff there.
And maybe the small things that build happiness are relevant no matter what the size of the problem we face.
Go to the first How To Be Happy post