How To Be Happy #3: Gratitude, even in the hard times
Kidding, right? That title can’t be serious. Why would you want to be thankful when you’re suffering pain, heartbreak, loss and all the rest of the sucky stuff life can throw at you?
I’m not going to lie and say it’s easy. (And I’m a person who’s had enough really hard times in her life to make me know what I’m talking about.) Also, currently much of my home state is suffering under pretty horrendous bushfires and drought.
I will be honest, though. Being thankful in the hard times helps.
Thankfulness keeps hope alive. It says, “I’m stronger than this struggle.” It says, “There will always be some good that can come of this.”
It’s hard to see where the good things are on the really tough days. But they are there, waiting to be found. They’re in the sparkle of sunshine flashing on a bubble of water, in the fur of a puppy, in a book that you love to read, in the yellow coat of a firefighter.
And there are things you will learn from your hard times too. They might not be lessons you want to learn, or experiences you’d choose to have, but they’ll grow new parts of your character if you let them. Things like: resilience, strength, warmth, and the knowledge of what it feels like to need comfort.
When you’re through the bad times (and you will be, one day) you’ll look back and realise that you do have something to be thankful for. Because of them, you’ll be stronger, or more compassionate, or more knowledgeable, or wiser, or more beautiful.
I was in a really bad mood one morning. It was the sort of mood where I felt like starting a fight. Or finishing one. You know the feeling.
I opened up Facebook to see what was going on in my world and I saw a notification with my name on it.
‘Cecily, you’ve been nominated to be part of the Thankfulness Challenge for a whole week,’ it said. I growled inwardly. Hmmph. What’s good about my life this week? and nearly scrolled down past the notification. But then, annoyingly, I felt guilty.
Okaaaaay. I’ll do it.
It took a little while, but I came up with one thing to be thankful for. I wrote it down. Then I thought harder and came up with a second thing. I wrote it down too. With a final burst of energy, I found thing number three. And then four. And then five. And then six. I wrote them all down.
And then I felt better. Really, seriously better.
Every day that week I did the thankfulness challenge and it turned my mood around. I had one of the happiest weeks ever.
Action
What are three more things you can be thankful for today? (And you can keep going past three if you like.)
What hard things are you going through right now? What can you be thankful for in them?
What new parts of your character can you see developing because of your hard times?
What sort of person would you like to be as a result of them?
Want more on how to be happy? Check out the rest of Cecily Paterson's How To Be Happy blog series for more tips and advice.
Want more of Cecily's writing? You can grab a free copy of her novel, Invisible here.
Please note: None of the advice given in this blog series is medical or expert advice. This is general advice only, with no guarantees behind it. If you are struggling with mental health issues, anxiety or depression or any other diagnosible condition, please let me encourage you to see a health care professional first and foremost.