I get the occasional request to chat to people about their 'issues' and I've been interested in solving my own for years. Here are some questions I jotted down for a recent chat with a friend. (I really must go through them and answer them for myself in relation to an old problem that's recently come to light!)

• Do you realise there is a problem?
• What do you see as the problem? Can you identify the behaviour you do that creates or extends the problem?
• Has the behaviour developed over the years?
• Have you ever thought consciously about the behaviour, or is mostly subconscious?
• What do you gain from your behaviour now?
• What did you gain from it before?
• Can you get the benefits the behaviour gives you from something else, or a different behaviour?
• What benefits would you get from changing your behaviour?
• What would it cost you to change your behaviour?
• What steps would you need to take to change it? 
• Can you visualise the changed behaviour, and its effect on you and on people around you?
• What do you do to avoid or minimise or rationalise the outcomes of your behaviour? 
• Will you make a decision to change your behaviour? 
• When will you make that decision?