I've been re-reading Raising our children, raising ourselves by Naomi Aldort and finding gems on every page. Here are a couple:

We don't water a flower if it blooms; we water it so it will bloom. Likewise, a child needs to feel secure in our love so he can flourish. By contrast, when love is used to control the child, he ends up doubting it...

A child is not here to be evaluated and then rewarded with love... Love is only love when it is unconditional.