About friends. And playdates. And other unthinkable blessings.
Up to this point my son hasn't had, really, any friends at school. The other children are nice to him. They look out for him, help him and show him what needs to be done. They tolerate him in the group but he hasn't really had a peer that he's liked and who likes him.
[In fact, so persistent has this friendless state of affairs been, that I realised while writing this that in all the years I've been writing posts that get categorized under various headings like symptoms, tantrums, resilience, school, progress and all the rest of it, I have not ever needed to have a 'category' of 'friends'. That's been remedied today, you'll notice. Brand new category in the list!]
There's been a small, glimmering light of hope in the last year - a child we'll call 'J'. Both he and Bright Eyes are children who live on the edges of the social group. And both of them have found each other.
This week J invited my son over for a play date which came to fruition today. When I asked Bright Eyes if he'd like to go, he literally bounced with excitement. "Yes!" he said. "Yes, yes, yes."
So J and his family came to pick up Bright Eyes and as they were waiting to go I saw the two of them hanging around the scooter. Bright Eyes was showing J how to use it - it's a bit tricky. He finished his instructions and then said, looking really proud of himself, "So... this is how best friends roll."
He went all day and was delivered back by dinner. I didn't ask how it went but he came home with a cartoon that he and J had drawn together. They obviously both contributed to the ideas (J's a bit keen on dragons and Bright Eyes is into burps and disaster) and took turns making the art.
The good things (as if you need me to spell them out) are as follows:
- being invited
- being keen to go
- having a strong sense of friendship and that J is his particular friend
- being able to regulate emotionally to cope at someone else's house
- being able to share and plan and coordinate with someone else (a peer!) to create something entirely new.
Can you see how excited I am? What blessings are these! I am grateful, and thrilled that all our work is bringing such wonderful results.