Cecily Paterson

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Back to basics... again

Today was another of 'those days', where Bright Eyes just couldn't cope with anything. He tantrumed to turn off the TV, get in the car, go into the shops. He tantrumed at lunch, dinner and bath, and then again at bed. It was all too much.

So when it came time for RDI lab time, I decided to play it cool and take it very easy. I hardly used any words at all, and concentrated on physical co-regulation. We rocked a lot of the time, him sitting on my lap. We moved front and back, and then side to side, and then when I thought he was calm enough, we circled around together.

I tried to get him to play a finger game with me at one point early on, but he couldn't cope with the interaction so we went to a row-row action which was easier for him.

By the end he was well regulated and was able to cope with a 'falling in the mud and cleaning up' game with me, but in general, everything I did was all very slow, quiet and rhythmic.

Calming down after tantrums
I seem to be getting better at calming him down when he really throws a wobbly. I hold him on my lap (and he's happy to have the cuddles) and just rock back and forward gently. After ten minutes, or when I judge he's peaceful enough, I make a comment on something we can both see, or something about him. Eg. "There's a bird in the garden" or "You've got ten toes on your feet." I don't offer questions or abstract ideas - he seems to calm quicker if he focuses on something concrete.